The flags of the United States and California will soon be joined by a windsock, the new official symbol of Berkeley’s City Council. The measure, sponsored by Mayor Arreguìn and CM Rigel Robinson, was passed nearly unanimously, with CM Davila abstaining.
“Berkeley leads the nation on key issues,” declared Arreguìn. “The windsock affords us the flexibility for that leadership to move rapidly in the prevailing direction.”
“Consistency and vision are overrated,” added Robinson. “If the people want more policing one minute and switch to defunding the police based on events thousands of miles away in the next, we want our windsock to blow in the right direction instantaneously.”
Vice Mayor Sophie Hahn expressed excitement over the elevation of the windsock. “We’ll be able to respond to the heat of the moment without the burden of thinking things through. As we all know,” she droned, “heat generates wind and Berkeley is a very windy city.”
The Bunion reached Chicago’s Mayor Lori Lightfoot for comment. “The city of Chicago, long known for its designation as the Windy City, on account of the windbaggery of its politicians, has met its match in Berkeley. We simply cannot compete with them in a head-to-head bloviation contest.”
“I am grateful for Mayor Lightfoot’s gracious concession,” huffed Berkeley’s Arreguìn. “Residents can look forward to seeing our windsocks blowing hard during council meetings.”