Gabriel A Frederick Finkelstein Excelsior spent the past 12 months wandering the western desert enjoying peace, quiet and serenity. Leaving only footprints, Excelsior’s trek included witnessing some of the most unique sites of America’s west. He even encountered the Utah desert monolith prior to its discovery by state officials and subsequent request by the City of Berkeley for its transfer to the I-80 bridge. He reminisced, “I spent the night in the moon shadow of the monolith, it was complete karmic nirvana. It was sad to see this testament to humanity removed.”
In late December Excelsior received a message, by carrier pigeon, that he had to register his lean-to dwelling in a friend’s backyard with Berkeley Rent Board and pay his fees after the passage of Measure MM. After hitchhiking back to Berkeley, he noticed a preponderance of BLM signs, and he was ecstatic. “I was so excited to see Berkeley celebrating the virtues of the Bureau of Land Management. It really is time to give this agency the acknowledgement it deserves”
Excelsior continued, “You know National Parks are so overrated; they have become fee-sucking tourist traps, but BLM land is another story. Many people see a harsh wasteland, but when you travel by foot across this expansive wilderness, it takes on a new meaning.” He is particularly appreciative of BLM’s “hands-off” approach to management. “You can camp anywhere, hot springs naked and do just about anything free of charge.”
You know National Parks are so overrated; they have become fee-sucking tourist traps, but BML land is another story.
GAFFE
After spending the pervious 12 months in the desert with effective media silence, he had no knowledge of the ascendance of the Black Lives Matter Movement. Absent this context, Excelsior instinctively confused BLM signs and banners with his favorite federal administrative agency. After a somewhat awkward and confused discussion with a local Berkeley political figure, where Finkelstein kept repeating, “I am so glad to see community support of the Bureau,” he was finally informed of his confusion.
He recounted that moment to The Bunion, “You know that situation when you are talking to a Berkeley politico and they start to give you that look? You know, as if they are saying this guy is crazy and they are about to call Mental Health Services?” Well that when I learned about the true meaning of the signs. “You know anyone who spends their life wandering in the desert is kinda absent minded, so I just told the person, oh I pulled a GAFFE.”
You know that situation when you are talking to a Berkeley politico and they start to give you that look? You know, as if they are saying this guy is crazy and they are about to call Mental Health Services?
GAFFE
Excelsior indicated, “I have the upmost respect for this timely social movement, but when I see those signs, I can’t help remembering those blissful nights under the stars.”
Gabriel A Frederick Finkelstein Excelsior GAFF confused solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement with a federal administrative agency