Observers suggest Russian President’s Subordinates are Afraid of Conveying Holiday Facts
A group of Cal students identifying as a “hacktivist” club was able to intercept an email conversation between Vladimir Putin and his travel agent. The conversation centered around the arrangements for Putin’s summer holiday with the travel agent continually deflecting the Russian president’s suggestions for destinations. Cee U There, who runs a professional leisure consultancy, reviewed the exchange and suggested it reflected the fact Putin’s subordinates are afraid to convey the fact of the matter to him. Cee noted, “Putin’s travel agent went to excruciating lengths to influence the president’s decision without telling him anything he did not want to hear.”
The students released a transcript of the conversation, and it is published verbatim below:
Putin: Dimitri! It’s been a stressful winter; all my oligarch buddies are jacked because their Amex Platinum cards are useless. I am really looking forward to getting out of town in July.
Dimitri: Mr. President, I am so sorry to hear about your winter and I am looking forward to serving you. What is your pleasure for a summer holiday?
Putin: Paris is always enjoyable in the summer. Why don’t we take advantage of the Paris properties we recently purchased on the dark web.
Dimitri: UHHHH, Mr. President I believe the properties are available, but unfortunately all the flights to Paris have been cancelled. This is very odd Mr. President; I do not understand why we cannot make that booking.
Putin: Never mind, the food is not particularly good in Paris. How about using Tango, the Mediterranean super yacht? A little time on the water would clear my head.
Dimitri: Another remarkable suggestion Mr. President. May I congratulate you on your impeccable taste? I am just checking on the yacht, and unfortunately your dates overlap with the crew’s summer holiday, so they are not available.
Putin: Ok, well let’s use the palace in Crimea, the Black Sea is lovely that time of year and I can wrestle some of the local bears.
Dimitri: The palace in Crimea? UHHH, Mr. President, give me a moment to check on the Palace. … Mr. President; I have had a word with the palace caretaker, and he has informed me that it has been unusually noisy as of late. He is concerned you may find the excessive noise irritating and it may distract from your leisure.
Putin: Paris is out, the super yacht is out, the Crimea palace is out, SO Dimitri what do YOU suggest?
Have you considered Damascus; your friends are there
Dimitri the Travel Agent
Dimitri: Mr. President have you considered Damascus? I understand some of your best friends will be in the city, and I understand it is lovely and dry in the summer months. In fact, the Air Force can fly you there directly from Moscow to one of its many conveniently located airfields in the region. I understand they will greet you with flowers!