Because Safety is No Accident VIP is a new remedial training program brought you by the Berkeley Department of Transportation (DOT) and Berkeley City College. This “reeducation” opportunity is available to Berkeley residents and anyone cited by the DOT for a moving violation. Attending the VIP program will allow the participant to have the violation […]
About: Ivanka
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- Look it's all about your brand, my friends call me a trend setter and opinion leader. My aim is to bring this cutting edge attitude to The Bunion.
Posts by Ivanka:
What Is Berkeley Listening To? A New #1 for 2021
What is Berkeley Listening To tracks the latest media trends. Based on data from streaming services, retail sales, and bootlegging. Capitol Records new release 11,780 Georgians on My Mind has leapt to the #1 position among Berkeley residents. The album featuring Donald Trump and Brad Raffensperger provides over an hour of non-stop treasonous innuendo. The […]
Berkeley PCI — Groundbreaking Technology for Broken Ground
Repurposed Robots Seek to Save Berkeley Drivers Walkers and Bikers In 2021 Berkeley residents have a new tool to mitigate the aches and pains of navigating Berkeley Streets – Berkeley PCI. This groundbreaking plug-in is compatible with all major navigation applications (Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze) and is designed to alert the user if they […]
Local Butcher Shop Introduces Learning Annex
Passionate customer services for Berkeley’s demanding consumer The Local Butcher Shop is one of those Berkeley retailers that brings passion to customer service and will go to extraordinary lengths to provide detailed information about the provenance of their products. As social distancing requirements have limited the number of customers in the shop, this individualized attention, […]
Independent Audit Determines City Should Not Be Using Office Paper
Expert Analysis Confirms Paper Meeting Berkeley’s Standards is Nonexistent To the surprise of the City Manager, an independent audit has determined that office paper conforming to Berkeley’s stringent standards does not exist. Officials in the General Services Administration, who are in charge of procurement, had no idea of the complex rules governing office paper use. […]
Berkeley Lobbies Representative for “Three Chai Latte Lunch” Tax Credit
Move Intended to Bolster Cafe Economy & Political Proselytizing After President Trump pushed through his “three-martini lunch” tax deduction as a means to boost the restaurant economy, the Berkeley Chamber of Commerce saw an opportunity to bolster the city’s famous cafe economy. The Chamber worked with representative Barbara Lee to push for a 500% tax […]
Prius Confessional: Because Driving is a State of Mind
Toyota’s New Offering Targets Berkeley’s Elaborate Psycho-social Driving Milieu The Toyota Prius hybrid has long been emblematic of Berkeley’s eco-conscious driver. However, the Prius’ standing as number one virtue nameplate is in jeopardy. Toyota is facing withering competition from offerings like the all-electric Nissan Leaf. Recognizing this challenge, Toyota has adopted a new marketing strategy […]
City of Berkeley & BART to Offer Bitcoin Option
New Policy Aimed at Alleviating “Driving Shame” In response to driver’s demand for autonomy and a desire to avoid shaming by local residents, the City of Berkeley Parking Department and BART have teamed up to offer Bitcoin payments options at stations, metered spots and city garages. The move to cryptocurrency comes as residents express an […]
Intellectuals Debate Merits of Elmer Fudd’s Title of “Doc”
Looney Tunes should think about dropping the honorific, which feels comic At the Talking About Angels on the Head of a Pin symposium sponsored by the Berkeley Media Studies Program, a heated controversy emerged over Elmer Fudd’s title of “Doc” which, according to a Warner Brothers spokesperson, he has held since 1940. Dr. P Gallimaufry […]
Ask the Bunion: Nouveau Wine Predicament
Ask The Bunion is a periodic column offering expert guidance to our readers. Questions are welcome at BunionBerkeley@gmail.com This week’s advice columnist, Ivanka is a regular contributor to The Bunion. I am a long time Beaujolais Nouveau event groupie. I have been celebrating Beaujolais day for decades. Recently my friend AKA Solar Guy has been hounding me for […]